What Do You Do When Your MP3 Player Dies?

I was at the fitness center the other night, right after work and ready to spend a good hour on the treadmill. The songs were all loaded onto my MP3 player, but nothing would come up! It was dead, it needed to be charged up. Boy, what was I going to do!  There were some great songs that had been loaded.

It wasn’t but a few minutes when I thought, what a perfect time to spend time praying! I didn’t need to pray out loud – we don’t have to. Immediately names were laid on my heart that I should pray for. It was an incredible time, quietly speaking to God, sharing quietly from my heart the needs of friends, family, etc…I felt honored to pray for these people.

Your prayer time doesn’t have to be confined to one place, nor does it need to be confined to one particular time during the day. Many people find it helpful to them to have a specific time for prayer each day and that’s great! I do, but found this time at the fitness center a perfect time to just ask God to help, heal, wash over my friends. The requests went up to Him, the Almighty!

Be Blessed!

Dale

You Know You Are Living in 2009 When. . .

1. You accidentally enter your PIN on the microwave.

2. You haven’t played solitaire with real cards in years. 

3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three. 

4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you. 

5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don’t have e-mail addresses.

6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries. 

7. Every commercial on television has a web -site at the bottom of the screen.

8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn’t even have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it. 

10. You get up in the morning and go on-line before getting your coffee. 

11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : ) 

12 You’re reading this and nodding and laughing. 

13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message. 

14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list. 

15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn’t a #9 on this list 

AND – FINALLY…

NOW U R LAUGHING at yourself.

Very Interesting Stuff

This is just some fun stuff I received in an email that I had to post on my blog – mindless fun! Enjoy.

In the 1400’s a law was set forth in England that a man was allowed to beat his wife with a stick no thicker than his thumb. Hence we have ‘the rule of thumb’ 

Many years ago in Scotland , a new game was invented. It was ruled ‘Gentlemen Only…Ladies Forbidden’.. .and thus, the word GOLF entered into the English language. 

The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV was Fred and Wilma Flintstone. 

Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the U.S. Treasury. 

Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better. 

Coca-Cola was originally green. 

It is impossible to lick your elbow. 

The State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work: Alaska 

The percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28% (now get this…) 

The percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38% 

The cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of eleven: $ 16,400 

The average number of people airborne over the U.S. in any given hour: 61,000 

Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.. 

The first novel ever written on a typewriter, Tom Sawyer. 

The San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National Monuments. 

Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history: Spades – King David Hearts – Charlemagne Clubs -Alexander, the Great Diamonds – Julius Caesar 

111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987, 654,321 

If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died because of wounds received in battle. If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes. 

Only two people signed the Declaration of Independenc e on July 4, John Hancock and Charles Thomson. Most of the rest signed on August 2, but the last signature wasn’t added until 5 years later. 

Q. Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of what? 
A. Their birthplace 

Q. Most boat owners name their boats. What is the most popular boat name requested? 
A. Obsession 

Q.. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until you 
would find the letter ‘A’? 
A. One thousand 

Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers and laser printers have in common? 
A. All were invented by women. 

Q. What is the only food that doesn’t spoil? 
A. Honey 

Q. Which day are there more collect calls than any other day of the year? 
A. Father’s Day 

In Shakespeare’s time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes. When you pulled on the ropes, the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase…’Goodnight , sleep tight’ 

It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride’s father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the honey month, which we know today as the honeymoon. 

In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts… So in old England , when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them ‘Mind your pints and quarts, and settle down.’ It’s where we get the phrase ‘mind your P’s and Q’s’ 

Many years ago in England, pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim, or handle, of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill , they used the whistle to get some service. ‘Wet your whistle’ is the phrase inspired by this practice. 

At least 75% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow! 

Don’t delete this just because it looks weird. Believe it or not, you can read it. 

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the muan mnid Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn’t mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the first and last ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can still raed it wouthit a porbelm. This is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh?  

Old Tunes…New Lyrics (Have fun with these!)

Old Tunes / New Lyrics . . .

 Herman’s Hermits –“Mrs. Brown You’ve Got a Lovely Walker”

The Rolling Stones –“You Can’t Always Pee When You Want”

Paul Simon –“Fifty Ways to Lose Your Liver”

Carly Simon –“You’re So Varicose Vein”

The Bee Gees –“How Can You Mend a Broken Hip?”

Roberta Flack –“The First Time Ever I Forgot Your Face”

Johnny Nash –“I Can’t See Clearly Now”

The Temptations –“Papa’s Got a Kidney Stone”

Nancy Sinatra –“These Boots Give Me Arthritis”

ABBA –“Denture Queen”

Leo Sayer –“You Make Me Feel Like Napping”

Commodores –“Once, Twice, Three Trips to the Bathroom”

Procol Harem –“A Whiter Shade of Hair”

The Beatles –“I Get By with a Little Help From Depends”

Creedence Clearwater Revival –“Bad Prune a-Rising”

Marvin Gaye –“I Heard It Through the Grape Nuts”

The Who –“Talkin’ ‘Bout My Medication”

Wayne Newton -“Daddy Don’t You Walk So Slow”

The Beatles – “When I Was 64”

Johnny Rivers – “Tracks of My Wheelchair”

Bee Gees – “Tryin’ To Stay Alive”

Bobby Vee -“Walk Slowly To Him”

Partridge Family -“I Think I Know You”

Simon & Garfunkel -“Bridge Over Troubled Teeth”

Roy Clark -“50 Years Ago When I Was Young”

Diana Ross & The Supremes -“Where Did Our Youth Go”

Glen Campbell -“By The Time I Get To The Bathroom”

Tony Orlando & Dawn -“Knock Fifty Times”

Mark Dinning -“Geriatric Angel”

Jerry Reed -“When You’re Old You’re Old”

Carly Simon -“Haven’t Got Feeling For The Pain”

Everly Brothers -“Wake Up Old Susie”

Frankie Valli & The Four Seasons -“Big Girls Do Cry (When Remembering Their Age)”

Neil Sedaka -“Standing Up Is Hard To Do”

Barry Manilow -“Can’t Smile Without Teeth”

Brownsville Station -“Sleeping In The Boy’s Room”

Fifth Dimension -“Age of Experience”

Dionne Warwick -“Do You Know The Way To Hide The Gray?”

Elvis Presley -“Forgetful Minds”

Helen Reddy – “I Am Woman, Hear Me Snore”

Chicago -“Does Anybody Really Know What Year It Is”

Gloria Gaynor -“I Will Revive”

Dusty Springfield -“You Don’t Have To Say You Know Me”

Elton John -“Birthday Seems To Be The Hardest Word”

Deniece Williams -“Let’s Hear It For The Geezer”

Kenny Loggins -“Stool Loose”

Helen Reddy -“Delta Dawn, What’s That Makeup You’ve Got On”

Frankie Valli -“Grecian Formula Is The Word”

Doobie Brothers -“Listen To The Bones Creak”

Gladys Knight & The Pips -“Midnight Pain In Georgia”

Chicaco -“Hair Color My World”

Sonny & Cher -“I Forgot You Babe”

Chairman Of The Board -“Give Me Just A Little More Mind”

Stevie Wonder -“I Just Called To Say I Remember You”

Petula Clark -“Don’t Fall Asleep In The Subway”

Spinners -“Could It Be I’m Falling and Can’t Get Up”

Michael Jackson -“Don’t Stop Medications ‘Til You Get Enough”

Elton John & Kiki Dee -“Don’t Go Breaking My Bones”

Three Dog Night -“Celebrex”

Marvin Gaye -“Too Busy Thinking About My Gray Hair”

Neil Sedaka -“Laughter In The Pain”

Frankie Valli & The Four Seasons -“Dawn (Go Away) You’re Too Old For Me”

Fifth Dimension – “Wedding Bell Snooze”

Diana Ross – “Stomach Hangover”

Barry Manilow – “Weekend In A New England Hospital”

The Association – “Perish”

Memo From God

To: YOU
Date: TODAY
From: GOD – The Boss!
Subject: YOURSELF
Reference: LIFE

This is God. Today I will be handling all of your problems for you. I do not need your help. So, have a nice day.

I love you.
GOD

P.S. And, remember….

If  life happens to deliver a situation to you that you can not handle, do not attempt to resolve it yourself!! Kindly put it in the SFGTD (something for God to do) box. I will get to it in MY TIME. All situations will be resolved, but in my time, not yours.

P.S.S.
Once the matter is placed into the box; do not hold onto it by worrying about it. Instead, focus on all the wonderful things that are present in your life now.

If you find yourself stuck in traffic; don’t despair. There are people in this world for which driving is an unheard of privilege.

Should you have a bad day at work; think of the man who has been out of work for years.

Should you despair over a relationship gone bad; think of the person who has never known what it’s like to love and be loved in return.

Should you grieve the passing of another weekend; think of the woman in dire straits, working twelve hours a day, seven days a week to feed her children.

Should your car break down, leaving you miles away from assistance; think of the paraplegic who would love the opportunity to take that walk.

Should you notice a new gray hair in the mirror; think of the cancer patient in chemo who wishes she had hair to examine.

Should you find yourself at a loss and pondering what is life all about, asking what my purpose is? Be thankful. There are those who didn’t live long enough to get the opportunity.

Should you find yourself the victim of other people’s bitterness, ignorance, smallness or insecurities; Remember, things could be worse. You could be one of them!

Should you decide to send this to a friend; Thank you, you may have touched their life in ways you will never know!

Now, you have a nice day,

God

Are You Older Than Dirt? Take the Quiz and Find Out!

‘Someone asked the other day, ‘What was your favorite fast food when you were growing up?’

‘We didn’t have fast food when I was growing up,’ I informed him. ‘All the food was slow.’ 

‘C’mon, seriously. Where did you eat?’ ‘It was a place called ‘at home,” I explained.. ! ‘Mom cooked every day and when Dad got home from work, we sat down together at the dining room table, and if I didn’t like what she put on my plate I was allowed to sit there until I did like it.’

By this time, the kid was laughing so hard I was afraid he was going to suffer serious internal damage, so I didn’t tell him the part about how I had to have permission to leave the table. But here are some other things I would have told him about my childhood if I figured his system could have handled it.

Some parents NEVER owned their own house, wore Levis , set foot on a golf course, traveled out of the country or had a credit card. In their later years they had something called a revolving charge card. The card was good only at Sears Roebuck. Or maybe it was Sears & Roebuck. Either way, there is no Roebuck anymore. Maybe he died.

My parents never drove me to soccer practice. This was mostly because we never had heard of soccer. I had a bicycle that weighed probably 50 pounds, and only had one speed, (slow). We didn’t have a television in our house until I was 19. It was, of course, black and white, and the station went off the air at midnight, after playing the national anthem and a poem about God; it came back on the air at about 6 a.m. and there was usually a locally produced news and farm show on, featuring local people.

I was 21 before I tasted my first pizza, it was called ‘pizza pie.’ When I bit into it, I burned the roof of my mouth and the cheese slid off, swung down, plastered itself against my chin and burned that, too. It’s still the best pizza I ever had.

I never had a telephone in my room. The only phone in the house was in the living room and it was on a party line. Before you could dial, you had to listen and make sure some people you didn’t know weren’t already using the line. Pizzas were not delivered to our home. But milk was. All newspapers were delivered by boys and all boys delivered newspapers –my brother delivered a newspaper, six days a week. It cost 7 cents a paper, of which he got to keep 2 cents. He had to get up at 6AM every morning.

On Saturday, he had to collect the 42 cents from his customers. His favorite customers were the ones who gave him 50 cents and told him to keep the change. His least favorite customers were the ones who seemed to never be home on collection day. Movie stars kissed with their mouths shut. At least, they did in the movies. There were no movie ratings because all movies were responsibly produced for everyone to enjoy viewing, without profanity or violence or most anything offensive.

If you grew up in a generation before there was fast food, you may want to share some of these memories with your children or grandchildren. Just don’t blame me if they bust a gut laughing.

 

Growing up isn’t what it used to be, is it?

 

MEMORIES from a friend :

 

My Dad is cleaning out my grandmother’s house (she died in December) and he brought me an old Royal Crown Cola bottle. In the bottle top was a stopper with a bunch of holes in it.. I knew immediately what it was, but my daughter had no idea. She thought they had tried to make it a salt shaker or something. I knew it as the bottle that sat on the end of the ironing board to ‘sprinkle’ clothes with because we didn’t have steam irons. Man, I am old.

 

How many do you remember?

• Head lights dimmer switches on the floor.
• Ignition switches on the dashboard.
• Heaters mounted on the inside of the fire wall.
• Real ice boxes.
• Pant leg clips for bicycles without chain guards. 
• Soldering irons you heat on a gas burner.
• Using hand signals for cars without turn signals.

Older Than Dirt Quiz :

 

Count all the ones that you remember not the ones you were told about.

Ratings at the bottom.

1. Blackjack chewing gum & Teaberry also (my favs)
2.Wax Coke-shaped bottles with colored sugar water 
3. Candy cigarettes
4. Soda pop machines that dispensed glass bottles 
5. Coffee shops or diners with tableside juke boxes 
6. Home milk delivery in glass bottles with cardboard stoppers 
7. Party lines on the telephone
8. Newsreels before the movie 
9. P F. Flyers
10. Butch wax 
11. TV test patterns that came on at night after the last show and were there until TV shows started again in the morning. (there were only 3 channels [if you were fortunate]) 
12. Peashooters 
13. Howdy Doody 
14. 45 RPM records 
15. S& H Greenstamps 
16. Hi-fi’s
17. Metal ice trays with lever 
18. Mimeograph paper
19. Blue flashbulb
20. Packards
21. Roller skate keys
22. Cork popguns 
23. Drive-ins
24. Studebakers
25. Wash tub wringers 

If you remembered 0-5 = You’re still young
If you remembered 6-10 = You are getting older 
If you remembered 11-15 = Don’t tell your age,
If you remembered 16-25 = You’re older than dirt!
I might be older than dirt but those memories are some of the best parts of my life.

Don’t forget to pass this along!! Especially to all your really OLD friends!